If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press "1" repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press "2".
If you have multiple personalities, please press "3", "4", "5", and "6".
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press.
No one will answer.
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