Its So Funny Story

***

Customer : Waiter, do you serve crabs?

Waiter : Sit down, sir, we serve anyone.

***

Customer : Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup.

Waiter : Yes Sir, they are not very good swimmers.

***

Customer : Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup.

Waiter : That’s all right, Sir, he won’t drink much.

***

Customer : Waiter, there’s a fly swimming in my soup.

Waiter : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?

***

Customer : Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?

Waiter : I wouldn’t know, Sir, I’m a waiter,not a fortune teller

***

Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.

Waiter : Funny? But why aren’t you laughing?

***

Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?

Father : No. Why do you ask that?

Son : Well, where did you get mummy then?

***

Lady : Is this my train?

Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.

Lady : Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask I can take this train to

Kuala Lumpur.

Station Master : No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.

***

Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?

Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the

game went into extra time.

***

Wife : Do you want dinner?

Husband : Sure, what are my choices?

Wife : Yes and no.

***

A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a

commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table

and shouted, “Order, order.” The drunkard immediately responded,

“Thank you, your honour, I’ll have a scotch and soda.”

***

Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Penang in

two days time?

Post Master : Well it might do.

Customer : I bet you, it won’t.

Post Master : Why not?

Customer : It’s addressed to Johor.

***

An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.

‘My trouble is,’ he said, ‘that I keep forgetting things.’

‘How long has this been going on?’ asked the psychiatrist.

‘How long has what been going on?’ said the man.

***

Girl : Do you love me?

Boy : Yes Dear.

Girl : Would you die for me?

Boy : No, mine is undying love.

***

1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!

2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.

1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.

***

Man : How old is your father?

Boy : As old as me.

Man : How can that be?

Boy : He became a father only when I was born.

***

Teacher : Correct the sentence, “A bull and a cow is grazing in the

field”

Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field

Teacher : How?

Student : Ladies first.

***

Waiter : I’ve stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog’s leg.

Customer : Don’t tell me your problems. Give the menu

***